Political Hope Joke #1: Why There Aren’t More Jump Scares in Poems

I think a lot about why The Exorcist is so scary 
and yes the special effects were pretty decent for its time 
and the images center around a torturous magical surrealism that us Catholics are taught 
to take literally and yes there are moments when it’s unclear 
if the girlchild is trying to escape the evil demon within or if the demon is trying to escape 
the wholesomeness of the girlchild but neither of those two things 
make this movie truly terrifying to me it’s the first 48 minutes
which is kind of sweet and funny so that the first time I saw it I thought “Why is everyone 
so scared of this movie? I mean I guess there are some creepy moments” and 20 minutes 
in I stopped thinking “don’t go in there” because even though I knew 
there was a threat it just seemed so low-level 
more of the appearance of a threat more uncertainty of what the fight is
but then in the middle of a very normal scene where a mother is showing concern 
for her child it’s as quick as swiping right on a screen
the terror is revealed almost like learning balance or feeling enlightenment for the first time
like you just get what’s so scary about it all of a sudden even though the characters have been
trying to describe it to you and even though you’ve seen the signs leading up to this moment
now it’s gotten so bad you don’t see a possibility for relaxing
you don’t know how to watch the clock for when it will be over
every part of your body is racing because the danger feels so immediate 
it’s no longer anxiety
anxiety is 60 miles behind you in the rearview mirror and it doesn’t make sense why it has to be 
every problem in every corner of the room drawn into the vortex of fear
where literally there is not a single safe hole to escape to
the evil is everywhere all around you and a fair number of relatives and colleagues
kind of feel the way you did during the first 48 minutes of the movie
like they kind of believe you but really they don’t because their senses 
tell them they’re still safe but you know what it feels like 
you see the screen even after you close your eyes and it doesn’t matter anyway 
if the screen is lit or has gone dark you can never forget what you saw 
and you absolutely cannot fix it alone you are fighting for your life and the lives of everything you love but you are out of ideas on how to do that even though you had a few 
you thought great ideas to begin with that you researched or that worked before 
and now you are trying to comb your brain for a solution 
but this is a new level of evil so how the fuck are you
who is actually just a lowkey doofy kind of person supposed to enact this heroic 
take down in front of you and people are throwing platitudes at you left and right like that doctor
who seems like an asshole in retrospect telling you “you just need to trust me 
and take your pills” or like that man who is definitely not a doctor
trying to convince you that you never needed pills or polio vaccines or any other intervention 
to begin with you don’t blame Linda Blair one bit for spitting in his stupid face
and you want to tell him all the research you’ve done on pharmaceuticals 
and the people you know personally who’ve actually died from overdoses 
and you want to ask him where he went to medical school and if the research he’s read
is just as misogynistic as he is but that’s not going to solve anything in fact 
it’s only going to make things worse because then you are fighting with so-called experts 
who you know in your bones are not experts as much as they try to convince you they are
they have it handled that everything is going to be just great you can’t waste your time
fighting with them or the neighbors listening to them instead of fighting the actual demon
who is actually
let me be clear
actually trying to kill you
but you know the worst part? (that’s not even the worst part) and this is the most messed up
beyond any imaginary messed up idea you or anyone sane could have come up with 
in any version of a rearview mirror
you never in the end learn the lesson
you never get to see how the demon was invited into the child into your home
into your family into every conversation online and in person even when you’re not talking
about him you are still kind of talking about him still thinking about him
you see the Ouija board and you have to make an assumption even though avoiding assumptions 
and using careful thinking and giving the benefit of the doubt are what stopped you 
from just listening to your own fucking intuition in the first place 
what stopped you from burning the Ouija board moving out of the house 
boarding up the doors and taking your child out of this terrifying country
that’s what keeps you up at night sleeping and not sleeping with the lights on
you’re never going to know how the demon got in 
you can go over the transcripts as many times as you like you are never going to learn 
the deal that was made in Hell which is you know so much worse than anything documented 
you would almost kill for a jump scare right about now
it feels like you’ve been waiting for eight years but it never comes
the anticipation has started distorting everything you see and it looks dangerous
and safe at the same time you will always feel exposed even when it’s over
and one way or another it will be over you might be able to catch your breath a little
but you won’t ever be confident again not like you were 
and you’re afraid that someday you’ll let your guard down you’re afraid
of the ways you yourself who even saw all of this coming
who’s thought about your reactions and how you’d talk to your family your students
your neighbors your colleagues who’s tried so many different meditations
who’s drank herself to sleep who’s slept through the day
who’s avoided as many unproductive social media posts as you can
who spent the last administration driving aids crazy with your calls
you my dear friend
yes you have already
let the demon in

Haley Lasché is the co-owner, co-founder and co-editor of the poetry press Beauty School Editions and the founder, editor and designer of the literary magazine Concision Poetry Journal. Her debut poetry collection, ONE is a forest bath of poetry. It was published in 2023.

A Song for Haley